My Redeemer Lives!

I had to write my testimony as part of my application for the training I will be taking--thought some of you might be interested to read it.

Redeemed
My Personal Testimony
Joy King

Ever since by faith I saw the stream that flowing wounds supply
Redeeming Love has been my theme
and shall be 'til I die!

It is my strong conviction that my Christian experience began long before I was even aware of it. I am blessed to say that God laid the groundwork for me to be brought up in the awareness of His truth before I was even born. My parents were devoted to involvement in the Church, and, when it came time, they sacrificially chose to enroll my twin sister and I in private Christian education. This, without a doubt, is the best decision my parents ever made on my behalf, and I have told them as much! Growing up at the same Christian school for my entire pre-college educational experience exposed me to the Gospel on a daily basis. More than that it exposed me to true, passionate believers who made an eternal impact on my life as they chose to love, disciple and support me through the often tumultuous growing up years.

As is often the case with individuals from my type of background, I struggled with knowing the Gospel but not really experiencing it. From my earliest memories, there has been what I now have come to recognize as a spiritual battle going on for my soul. As a child, I experienced this war in the form of legalistic messages, nightmares, significant lies, secret sin, and ultimately depression.

By the time I was 14 I came to accept the false belief that God's forgiveness was available to everyone but myself. Such hopelessness left me in despair, but it was a despair I willingly accepted for myself. Regardless of my own convictions, however, God's truth prevailed and spoke to me in the darkest hours of the night. Somewhere deep inside I had hope that perhaps there was the chance I was mistaken, and that the passion I saw in the Believers I loved and looked up to could be mine one day.

Since I was not at a place where I could hear God through His Word, He spoke to me in a language I could understand: friendship. At a seemingly “convenient” time, God brought a friend into my life who offered me His comfort and encouragement even when I wasn't able to accept it for what it was (or Who it was really coming from). Slowly, as relationship was built, God spoke through her, and when I was at a point where I could fully trust her, God reached out and touched me through her. She told me that I was God's answer to one of her lifelong prayers. For this to be true, my core belief that God could not love me would have to be false, since she was clearly suggesting that God had personally chosen me to be of use by Him in her life. Though I did not trust God, I did trust my friend, and was forced to reconsider the beliefs I held so closely. When I became willing to do this my eyes were opened to the reality of God's personal work in my own life and a time line of “coincidences” began to reveal itself before me until I was unable to deny that anything short of Divine had been guiding my life. The truth that God loved me on a personal level took root in my heart on July 6, 1996, and a realization that I loved Him back exploded all my previous beliefs mere seconds later.

All of my previous guilt ridden “salvation experiences” were steps leading me to to this ultimate, life changing encounter with God, and my life has not been the same since. In the nearly 12 years that have passed since that experience, I have come to recognize God's work in my life as a continual journey of surrender and redemption. As I am willing to surrender areas of my life to God, He is willing ad ready to redeem them in ways I never imagined possible. It is truly a beautiful thing to witness!

The most significant way in which God brought me to a place of surrender was through my college experience, when through a various series of events God asked me to surrender my goals for my future in order to attend Bible College and study Biblical Counseling. This decision was surprising to myself and to those who knew me best, since my personal goals had been quite different for a very long time. I asked God to validate His request in a way that I could understand, and He did so in the most clear answer to prayer I have ever experienced.

Walking in obedience proved to be much more difficult than I had expected it to be, however, as I became more and more aware of my own brokenness as a result of my studies. It was a dark and painful period as my confidence in Self was shattered and I began to question all that I had come to embrace as truth. I sought to find relief from my distress in relationships and through personal achievements. Deception and secret sins became a constant companion to me in a time of deep darkness. Nevertheless, God was ever present, even when I refused to acknowledge Him.

At a time when I had more questions than answers, I sought God's face in a half hearted attempt to hear from Him, doubting He would come through, and knowing that even if He did there would be no permanent change in my life. Spiritual highs never lasted, I knew. I also knew that unless He showed up, I was lost, so I challenged Him to show up. He took the challenge! In the most intense experience of my life, God stripped me free of all my walls, lies and deceptions...and as I stood emotionally vulnerable and naked before Him expecting condemnation...He embraced me. Such love left me with no other option or desire than to fully surrender.

Surrender always requires humility, and this was the case when I voluntarily stepped down from the ministry position I was using to define my self-worth by and submitted myself to a two years healing process of counseling and deep accountability. I wish I could say I was completely compliant with God's work in my life, but I definitely was not! He is faithful even when we are not, however, and redemption happened in ways I never dared to believe it could. The culmination of that experience resulted in God's redemption of my desire to serve Him when He (to my surprise!) called me to take my experiences and serve others. God redeemed my service to Him by calling me to work with at risk youth at The Fold in September 2006.

In my time at The Fold I know I have learned more than the girls I work with! God continues to surprise me with the depth of His love and devotion to His people. He continues to challenge my “knowledge” and reduces me to tears by His gentle faithfulness in my life. It was at The Fold that I was exposed to the “exchanged life” truths on a formal level, and have fallen deeper in love with God as a result. My personal struggles for identity and worth have found peace as I've started to grasp the truth of God's redeeming work on the cross in a new way.

I don't know why it is so surprising to me that God continues to redeem areas of my life, but it always catches me off guard in the most sweetly pleasant way! As I continue to allow Christ to live His life through me God continues to open doors for deeper experiences with Him and with His Body. God has opened yet another door for me to serve Him by allowing Him to live and minister through me as a full time counselor, and I know without a doubt that walking in this ministry opportunity will teach me much more about the character of God than I could possibly ever convey to those I counsel!

For so long I sought to find a place to belong, to find something bigger than myself to be a part of, and now I realize that what I sought I had all along—the Body of Christ. There is no question that those I counsel will teach me just as much about the Christian experience as I will teach them. It is my sincere desire to continue to understand and accept the truth that I am pure, righteous and blameless—not because of my own effort, but because Christ exchanged His life for mine; and then to share those truths with those I come into contact with in my journey of redemption.

Dear Friends and Family,

Happy Spring! Once again time has gotten away from me and I can barely believe that it is April! Of course, it doesn't help that there is still a significant amount of snow on the ground here! The temperatures are warming up, but we still get snow on a fairly regular basis. I look forward to the end of winter!

Well, a lot of things have changed since I last wrote to you all. The major changes are these: our houseparents, Todd and Alesa took a job in Arizona and as of the end of February are no longer here; in October one of our disciplers, Michelle, got engaged to one of the Boy's Home staff and in the following months both of them moved to Michelle's home state of Maine to plan their wedding. (A side note: Jason and Michelle's engagement was by far my most favorite memory of being at The Fold!) Also, the ministry hired a new discipler (to fill Michelle's spot), Jill who is my suite mate and a lot of fun! And of course there are always changes in the house--girls coming and going. It can be hard to keep up with at times!

There have been some significant changes for myself as well. In my last update I reported that I had decided to remain at The Fold as a discipler, as well as pursue additional training in the area of counseling. In January I realized that was not a feasible, or a healthy option for me. I love discipling and living in the girls home has been quite the growing experience, but as with everything in life there are pros and cons and as I'm sure you can imagine living in a house full of troubled teenage girls has some definite cons!

I spoke to the Director of ministries about the possibility of a change in roles and he suggested I could take a position as a teacher at the school. While that option would have allowed me the time I needed to complete the training I desired, searching of my heart revealed that my gifts and talents and desires were not within the school setting, so I began to look at other options. My heart is in the area of counseling, but there was no formal way for to do that here short of living with the girls I was counseling, and that was no longer healthy for me. So it seemed clear that it was time for me to move on. By February I had decided to fulfill my two year commitment to The Fold and move back out to Colorado with the intent of furthering my education through training in Biblical Counseling, as well as the possibility of Graduate School.

I informed the ministry of my decision, and they were supportive. In the back of my mind I had the thought that I wouldn't mind being called back to The Fold at some point--I just needed a break. I just needed to not live in the girl's home anymore!

Any of you who know me well know that I like to write five year plans--and then see how God changes them! My plans to move out West were no different-I began looking at churches, possible jobs, graduate schools, etc. The idea of living in civilization again was quiet exciting to me, I have to say!!

And then... God changed things! At the beginning of last month the counselor for the Girl's Home informed us that she would be phasing out of her role. She is married to the director so she's not going anywhere, but she feels it is time for her to do something different in the ministry and in the community. In the midst of not having houseparents this seemed like a HUGE change--but change shouldn't ever surprise us. Two things we learn well here are that change is a part of life, and flexibility is key.

What DID surprise me however was when the director approached me and asked if I might be interested in taking Cat's position! I spoke with the President of the ministry and it became clear that he genuinely believed that despite my age I was the person to take this role. Cat had been doing the position part time, and the ministry was asking me to come on full time. I need additional training, so the ministry offered to send me to a training school to get my certification in the counseling method we use here (aelm.org). I was given a couple of weeks to think and pray about it. In that time, I talked to everyone I could think of, I wrote down pros and cons lists, and I prayed a LOT. It didn't take long for me to realize this was a God thing, and I decided to take the position!

We are still working out details of how and when this change will take place, but I am very, very excited about it! In one of my many conversations with Cat (the current counselor) she stated to me that this won't be as big of a change as I think it will be, because I am already counseling three of the girls. She said that she was aware of the work I did with the girls and it wasn't the typical discipling role, but it was straight out counseling. When I asked her what she defined as the typical discipling role she stated all the things that I don't like doing--discipline, maintaining order in the house, planning activities, etc. What I love to do is sit one on one with girls and explore their heart and watch God work. I love to counsel and I am very excited to have the opportunity to do it in a formal, full time capacity!

So somethings you can be praying for during this time of change are:

That God would send the right couple to be houseparents for the Girls Home
That God would work out the details for my training (I am praying I have the opportunity to do it in Denver so that I can spend time with my family and friends out there)
That God would bring the right people to fill the growing need for disciplers in both the boys home and the girls home
That God would use these changes to bring about growth in the girls lives, as well as the staffs lives.

Thank you for your prayers--they make such a difference!!

God bless,
Joy

The Top 10 Ten Ways You Can Tell Joy King Is Operating In Avoidance:
10. She writes Top 10 lists

9. She makes Eggplant Parmesan for lunch..from scratch

8. She is compelled to burn recovery disks for her brand new computer...and uses 16 CDs to do so

7. She works out on the stationary bike until she burns exactly 200 calories

6. She explores websites on vegetarianism (right like THAT'LL ever happen!)

5. She moves aimlessly from one room to another, continually finding reasons to sit down and do nothing for a while (like sorting through all of her jewelry only to throw it all back in the box to go through another day!)

4. She flips through all 300 songs on her mp3 player to determine which ones can be deleted due to skipping or just plain being annoying.

3. She checks facebook more than once every 30 minutes

2. She believes the grand illusion (delusion) that sitting in front of the office computer might motivate her to do something that sitting in front of her personal computer didn't.

AND The #1  reason you can tell Joy King is avoiding the 8+ weeks of paperwork she needs to catch up on...

1. SHE POSTS ON A BLOG SHE TYPICALLY FORGETS SHE EVEN HAS!!!

Dear Friends and Family,
Please pray for my friend Kristy. I just found out that her husband drowned in a tragic boating accident on Easter Sunday. They were married in January. I cannot imagine what she is going through right now and don't know what else to say except, please pray.
Thank you,
Joy 

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? I rented a car for the first time ever! I was in Lancaster for a wedding and I rented a black PT Cruiser and felt like a snooty British person driving it. Long live the Queen!

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I did!! To my amazement I accomplished my goals for 2007! I became (and stayed) debt free, established a credit free lifestyle, and for the first time since college I have money in savings! For 2008 my goals are as follows: learn to use credit responsibly, open an IRA, lose weight and read the Chronological Bible in its entirety. So far I’m doing well in all these areas!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?  Yes! On May 24 the youngest and cutest member of our staff made her debut: my supervisors Todd and Alesa had their first child: Abigail McCaia

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, praise the Lord.

5. What countries did you visit? Rumor has it Vermont wants to secede from the Union--does that count as another country? ;-) I stayed in the country this year, but did a good amount of traveling domestically: Lancaster, Denver, Ohio, Florida and Massachusetts were on the list. I live an hour from Canada but still haven’t made it up there yet.

6. What would you like to have had in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? I don’t think I understand this question, but at any rate I would have liked to have my friends and family closer, but that is an ongoing desire.

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? oh, plenty. Abigail’s birth, my time with my family, my best friend’s wedding, Jason and Michelle’s engagement, etc.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  surviving a year of living with teen girls :-)  and living credit free.

9. What was your biggest failure? As I said last year: It's really only failure if you don't learn from it...but there are some specific conversations and moments I wish I could go back and have again. Nothing too major though.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?   Nope! Thanks to the massive amounts of vitamins I take on a daily basis I remained relatively healthy throughout the year!

11. What were the best things you bought?  probably my digital camera

12. Where did most of your money go?  the bulk of my money goes towards traveling every seven weeks!

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Michelle and Jason’s engagement!

14. Compared to this time last year, are you:
    a. happier or sadder? happier and wiser
    b. thinner or fatter?  I think I might be a little thinner?? (I’m hoping!)
    c. richer or poorer?  as I said last year: so much richer in every way but financially! (Though I do have more money saved this year!)

15. What do you wish you'd done more of? pray, encourage others, talk on my phone/keep in touch, exercise

16. What do you wish you'd done less of?  stressing

17. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent Christmas in Colorado with my family

18. Did you fall in love in 2007?  ever deeper in love with God. 

19. How many one-night stands?  none, and that answer will remain the same for the rest of my life!

20. What was your favorite TV program?  tee hee I bet you can’t guess!;-) Lost--yay for abc.com!

21. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't make it a habit to hate anyone, but I would say I am more cynical towards people now than I was last year.

22. What was the best book you read?  Dancing Under the Red Star.

23. What did you want and get? personal growth, friends in Vermont, a chance to see Hannah at LVR

24. What did you want and not get?  a new computer!

25. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  I turned 26 and I went to Emerson Falls with a friend, ate Thai food and then went through the amazing adventure of seeing Pirates 3 in the most ghetto movie theater on the planet!

26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  If I had spent more time praying.

27. What kept you sane?  Same as last year: God, friends, fellowship, and the massive amount of pills I take on a daily basis!:-)

28. What political issue stirred you the most?  I don’t follow politics much, but I did follow the beginnings of the Presidential Campaigns.  

29. Who did you miss?  My friends, family and pets that are not with me.

30. Who was the best new person you met? my friends at The Fold

31. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:  snow tires are a necessary evil in Vermont winters!!!

<---our annual food fest on New Years Eve!

After all the recent season and series finales, what are you watching on TV these days?

Not a blessed thing! But then, I wasn't anyway--I don't have TV. Our cable got cancelled before Christmas and without a massive antenae there's nothing to pick up here...not even the news! So I watched Lost online for the whole season. Now I'm thinking of trying to get into Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty or one of the other shows available online...or I could just watch all of my DVDs again for the thousandth time. (currently in the dvd player: Pirates of the Carribean 2)